D A L I F . C O M

I left my little note with topics at home, so this one is straight out of memory. Had two amusing incidents at the hotel recently, and I felt you guys might find them hillarious as well. Well not hillarious perhaps, but... at least better than staring at the wall.

A week or so ago, I was out in front, doing something, I forget what. In through the doors walks a scruffy looking dude. It's apparent from the second my weary eyes meets his person, that he is near passing out from alcohol. Fair enough, we've all been there. He carries a plastic bag, and has trouble walking straight. He stops a few yards from where I'm standing, and motions for me to approach him. He seems unable to fully open his eyes. I tell him, that if he wants to speak to me, he can come to me, instead of the other way around. I later regret that decision.

He comes up to me, too close for my comfort, and claims he has broken his back. I regard him with the greatest possible disbelief. He wants me to call for an ambulance. I ask him where his back is broken. Just for fun. It's pretty clear that he just wants a free night in the hospital. He keeps emphasizing that he's just drunk, and that I won't call him anything. He keeps repeating how his back is broken. "Why are you so sick in your head" is another fun comment he throws at me. I can't surpress a laugh as I guide him towards the exit. He tries to escape my grasp twice, without any real effort tho, and is evicted in style. 15 minutes later, he is about to enter through the glass doors. I shake my head at him, and he moves on. Great stuff.

Second story takes place mere days after. At 1 in the am, a cleaning dude comes down and tells me in broken tongues (he tried in several languages, none of which were coherent), that some guy is upstairs, on the conference floor, sleeping, and that he can't wake him up. I walk with him upstairs, thinking some drunk guest passed out in a couch. Wouldn't be the first time. But it's a little more complicated than that. In one of our conference rooms, one that is locked, mind, I found a largish guy sleeping on the floor. He wasn't quite homeless by the looks of him, but he did smell something fierce of urine and bad hygiene. I told him to get up and leave the hotel. He didn't say anything, but just complied, indicating how often he's been thrown out of places. He was in his boots and hat and overcoat on the floor, so it didn't take him long to get up. Looking at his watch, as this situation was the most normal thing in the world, he exited the hotel, leaving behind only a faint smell of weewee. He must've been up there for a few hours, as I didn't see him come in. And he isn't the type of person you mistake for an actual guest. How the fuck he got into a locked conference room, I couldn't tell you. But I guess these dudes have their ways. Amusing little tidbit anyway. Oh well.... enough out of me for now. Later!