That rare smile

It's an unwritten rule, that hotels and prostitution are closely connected businesses. Hotels have guests, guests use hookers, i.e. hotels provide business for the hookers, as well as a pretty safe work environment. Some people will think it unethical to stand idly by and watch girls get used by men for money. And on some levels, I agree. But I'm gonna have to go with the age old excuse: what the hell can I really do about it? If I stop them and tell the guys that they can't have girls in their rooms, I'm most certainly gonna get complained about, and possibly lose my job. And besides, the girl will lose income, which might be taken out on her physically. So while I don't know these things for sure, I'd not really want to get involved unless somebody was in physical danger.

Another unwritten rule is, that the girls leave a bank note in the reception desk as a... I guess, thank you for the business/protection. In either case, some of the girls do, some don't. I know that I've done nothing that would entitle me to anything at all, so if she doesn't leave money, I wouldn't dream of saying anything. If she does, I smile at her with, what I hope is, an appreciative look and thank her. I'm curious by nature, and often feel like asking her how she is or... ask about her life. But I dare not. I'm sure she'd either feel I'd be judging her, or mocking her. Besides, what sort of opening could I use? "So, was it good?" or "Going to your next client?". No, none of those would be good. But I just.. I guess I just want to talk to them to perhaps make their stay at this hotel a little brighter. I just can't get myself to do it. A lot of them look either indifferent, sad or really busy. I guess it's their gameface. I've been in this business long enough not to let it affect me a lot. But it's hard not to think about things when you see some of them.

Today, I saw 4 hookers leave the hotel. One of them was here yesterday as well. They almost always enter with their client walking 4-6 feet in front of them, like they were just a guilty pleasure. Something to be ashamed of. I try to put myself in his place. And I've a hard time doing it. One of many reasons I could never use the services of a prostitute is the sheer thought of how amazingly embarrassing it would be to ride in the elevator. The deadly silence would kill me. It's hard enough as it is, even when I don't have anything to do with the people I ride with. Let alone getting into the room, and talking about money or taking the clothing off mechanically. No, I couldn't even imagine what the hell would be going on. It's a very different world from mine. It seems so cold.

But apparently there is warmth sometimes. As I said, most of the girls are looking busy. Rush out and into the night. Getting things over with. I was standing at my desk, and one girl had just left when another girl came down. She didn't look foreign, as most of the other girls do (either asian or african). She was dark haired with a really pretty face. Looking slightly weary, she put the money on the table, and she turned towards me, and she smiled when our eyes met. A true smile. Not a facade. It was clear as day. It brightened my night up a whole lot, and I couldn't help but smile back. A genuine smile from me as well. I know it wasn't more than just a smile, but it just felt a whole lot warmer than I had experienced in many years in this business. Made me want to.. hug her or something. She seemed like a really nice person, and I can't help but wonder what kind of personality she has outside of whatever kind of deal she's in now. She looked like the sort of character that'd laugh a lot and be merry all the time. A giver. I hope she works her way out and makes a good life for herself. I hope they all do.