Creatures of the Night, part II

My first encounter with this guest was at half past 5 in the morning, sometime in the week before last. I don't know how long he had stayed at the hotel at that point. He called down and wanted me to help him with a problem. The problem: he wanted to watch porno.

Usually when you get requests like that, you sort of know what is in store with this particular guest. It probably won't be the last time he's calling down. And he will almost certainly, for some reason or another, expose himself to some member of staff. He's the kind of guest you know you will be telling stories of. He spoke with a strong indian accent, which makes him all the more hillarious (sorry people out there who speak english with an indian accent, but it's just a funny accent). I suggested he flick on the pay tv. For one amount, you get like 4 adult channels and 2 ordinary movies for 24 hours. Quite a bargain considering what a lot of other hotels are charging. It's even digital, so you can pause and rewind and shit. But this isn't what he wants. He's heard that regular television here carries porno during the night. I tell him that's correct. He then wants to know the hours and what channel that is on. I inform him that I don't really know the answer to either question. It's probably not on at half past 5 in the morning. And in regards to what channel it is on his television, I can't help him either. He thanks me for the info, and we hang up.

Night after, he calls down again, at like 3am. Asks the same question. Again, he refuses the pay tv and asks about the regular free porn. I still can't really help him, but I tell him it's probably on now. And I guess he flips around the stations until he either passes out or finds porn (and then passes out).

Day after again, I come into work, and the evening service manager, a good friend of mine, Carina, tells me about this guest (she didn't know I had already encountered him twice), who had been pretty strange. Apparently there had been a problem with his credit card, and they had called his room at 9pm or so, asking him to come down with his proper credit card. He had said that he was already in bed, and didn't feel like coming down. She asked him if we could come up and get it, as it really was pretty important to us that we get a print of his card. She suggested that we could knock on the door, and that he could just slide the card out under the door. That way, he didn't have to get dressed or anything. And we could then slide it back when we were done. They agreed on this. So she sends a girl up to get the card. When the girl arrives, the door isn't closed all the way. She knocks, and enters, and finds the guest on his bed, half covered with a sheet, naked. He hands her his card. She storms off, slightly shocked. Fortunately for everybody, he doesn't want his card back that evening, so we have to keep it for him through the night.

He calls down during the night, and asks about massage. It's always tricky when people call down and ask for massage, because you never really know if they want proper massage or massage *wink wink*. But I gather he wants proper massage. I tell him to call down to concierge during the day, and they will book it for him. He does so, and I'm told he asked specifically for a man to come and massage him. He was very adamant about that. I guess they worked it out, I just hope the poor massagedude didn't get molested or anything.

So, cut to tonight. I thought he had checked out and was gone, but apparently he came back to the hotel again. He calls down, and when I see the name in the display, I recall this entire story in a glimpse. He wants the yellow pages sent up. It's 5am. Yellow Pages. I know we have a copy down here, but I don't feel like giving it away. So I tell him we don't have any. He keeps asking about it, and I keep telling him I don't have one. So he tells me that last time he stayed here, the people during the day were able to help him arrange for massage. I recalled that story as well, and informed him of the folder we have with events and stuff in Copenhagen. It also has a lot of numbers for escort services, and probably also massage stuff. He's thrilled. I tell him I'll have it sent up.

My colleague tonight is half filipino. He's born and raised in Denmark, and for all intents and purposes, he's 100%, apart from the fact that his mom is filipino, and works in the reception during the day. You get what I mean. He came in because my regular colleague was ill. He's a cool guy, but doesn't know anything about the practical work and the system during the night. So he's mainly here because we aren't allowed to just be one guy he during the night. But he can answer the phone and I send him up to the rooms, if the guests want anything. So he goes off with this pamphlet for the indian guy

When the door to the room is opened, the indian guy is in his pyjama trousers, and nothing else. He has quite a large belly and speaks with a sort of desperate air to him. He gets the folder, and asks my colleague if he knows anything. He doesn't. Then he asks if it's in danish or english. It's in english. He asks my colleague into the room, while asking about the pamphlet. When they are in the room, he looks in the pamphlet and asks about man to man massage, which my colleague doesn't know anything about either. Then this indian guy looks at my colleague and asks the following question:

"Can I suck you off... just for a minute"

When my colleague told me about it afterwards, he said he was a little shocked. Like you know, it took a moment for his brain to register what he had just been asked. He exclaimed no! and left the room, running down to the elevator as fast as he could. It was all very amusing when he told me, and we laughed about it. But really... who the hell asks random people that sort of thing? It's well weird if you ask me. I mean, it's one thing to order an escort or something. But to ask somebody who works at the hotel you stay at, if they want to engage in random sexual acts is just far out. He's leaving tomorrow, so I guess he has one more night to weird us all out.