D A L I F . C O M

Well, I have begun my preliminary shrinkage program thingy. It's not really a program, I just said that to be witty. In any case, I had my first session, which I think I've spoken about, and she recently texted me, asking me if I could come in on friday. Sadly, I was unable to, but I still have my regular appointment on next monday.

The point is, that she's in contact with me, and I sense an interest garnered. She even wrote 'dear' and 'much love' in the text, which I found a bit funny. Doesn't disturb me, I don't really care. But it's just a weird thing to write to a person you've only met once. I digress. Doesn't really matter. I look forward to seeing her again, and hearing what she has to say about me and my situation. I'm going to fill in the papers tomorrow or something. The questionaires. It's very exciting.

Had some splendid days the past few. Tired, as I've explained, but lots of good feelings. Also, my home theater setup is coming together, and it's a fucking doozy! Loving every second of it. I'll write a few seperate posts about it, with pictures and diagrams and shit. 

A while back, when I worked as a weekend nightshift at another hotel, I remember having the hardest time staying awake during the shifts. I worked 5 a month, besides my regular 8-4 job. The first was the worst, even if I managed to sleep during the afternoon. But every shift had me fighting hard to stay awake. Now, I don't experience that anymore. Well, except for the past few days.

"I remember this stone!" I exclaimed, excitedly, picking up a small rock from the forest floor.

"What stone?" my father asked, puzzled. We were out walking in the woods, close to our house. I don't recall why we were out walking. We never just walked, for the sake of walking. But the reason for us being there, I don't remember.

 

Yeah. This entry won't be too long. It's pretty much what it says on the tin. My dose was upped from 150mg til 225mg, and that is really wearing me out. I'm so tired all the time. And it gets harder and harder to conceal my distaste when people around me do stuff that triggers my anxiety. I get to annoyed, I just want to tell folks to go away. Hard, really, when you're in a job where you need to be all smiles and helpfulness.

I manage, I think. But it's wearing me out. Sleep, get up, be sleapy, go to work, be sleapy, come home, sleep... rinse and repeat. Not fun, really. Just want to sleep all the time. Even the smallest things will get me down. I hope this new shrink can work magic soon. I need it.